The funny thing about humans is that we’re sometimes blind to things that are right in front of us. And no, I’m not talking about the physical blind spot we all have at about 15 degrees from peripheral on each of our eyes.
For years I’d been plagued by the question “what is your passion?”. It haunted me because I became aware of the difference between fulfilling work and running the rat race, mindlessly doing what others think is considered a successful career. I wanted more; I wanted meaning, purpose, satisfaction. The problem was that I had many interests of a wide variety (from marksmanship to KPop dancing), yet none of them sparked that fire in me that would last at least a few years, I just knew it. When suggested to just choose one because it’s only “for now”, I couldn’t bring myself to it, stopping at this intersection that I knew was preventing me from a full, happy, successful life.
Step 1: exploration
So I embarked on a journey through Asia that was to last approximately a year to allow myself time to grow as a person, explore the world, and consider my future. Finding oneself is a common trope in long-term travelers and I wasn’t ashamed to be one. It was time I was taking for myself – investing in myself – so that I could have a better life in the long run. Each challenge and adventure allowed me to experience so much more than I would have staying at home, living a predetermined, routine, and safe life.
Yet after a little while, I felt an emptiness inside me that wouldn’t go away with a new day, new city, new country. It was the lack of purpose and meaning bubbling up inside of me. Occasionally I would reflect and come back to the question “what is your passion”, which had turned into “what are you going to do for even just the next few years?” I was never able to answer that. Being so involved in travel and experiencing the most I could in the time I had blocked me from being able to seriously consider my future options. I didn’t feel any closer to an answer than when I started my trip.
Step 2: go home
This question resurfaced after I decided to return home and finish this journey – reality hit as I saw the money leave my bank account for the plane ticket and I was on my first of two flights home. What was I going to do once I returned and my shoulder healed? Having gone through much anxiety the previous 2 weeks and knowing the practice of self-care, I allowed myself to not be stressed about finding an answer immediately; my health would come first and reflection would give me inroads towards the answer. I settled into my second flight and closed my eyes, at peace for the final few hours of my journey.
Of course, coming home for Christmas means family. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and that’s what made coming home during Canadian winter bearable, but of course I get the same question over and over. “So, now what are you going to do?” By the 5th person I was fed up and told them that it was too early to say as I had JUST. GOT. BACK. In a nice way, of course. But really, could it have been more obvious that I didn’t have an answer to that? I hadn’t planned on returning, nor getting into that motorbike accident!
It was the day before Christmas, just 5 days after returning home, when I suddenly woke up to the most wonderful thought:
“I’m passionate about self-development”
It finally shouted at me, that which had been present in my life for so long. I’d been working on my own self-improvement journey for years, even started a life coaching business, without truly seeing what was right in front of me. I already found what I knew I would love to immerse myself in for many years to come and I had already been doing so for four years for myself. Four years is a long time in my books, as someone with shiny object syndrome!
Now I need to focus on how that relates to my purpose, finding said purpose, and then what kind of jobs or businesses would take my passion and/or purpose into account. I’ve got a few ideas I’m researching now.
It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off me. So much is clear now, even if I don’t have all the answers yet. I feel like there’s some direction in which I can use as a guidepost so that I’m not floundering anymore. I’m so excited to move forward with this that I wanted to publish a post about the revelation.
What the Future Holds
So, what am I going to do? I’m going to work in the self-development industry. The next month will be spent on discovering exactly what role that will be in, and who I can help. The next few months will be establishing that business (I know it’s an online business so I can keep traveling). This year will be getting to a steady income with said business.
For those of you who still don’t know what your passion is and want to, I would love to help. Reach out and we can chat! I’m strongly considering restarting my life coaching as a business that would incorporate self-improvement.